Unspoken Words (Unspoken #1) Page 23
When Lincoln notices the look of bewilderment on both mine and Christian’s face, he holds his hands up in the air and backs away from the bar. “Look, I thought you two knew about this. My bad. Talk to Camryn. I’m sure there is a reason she didn’t tell you yet.”
A muscle flicks angrily in my jaw. Was she going to leave me again? Was she going to turn down this promotion? Was she even planning to tell me about it? I look to Christian and ground the words out between gritted teeth, “Did you know about this shit?”
He shakes his head. “This is news to me, man. I had no fucking clue. My parents haven’t even mentioned it.”
Lincoln speaks up. “Look, if it makes you feel better, she called me the other day when she heard I was contemplating selling Redemption. She didn’t mention it to me either. It looks like she only told Morgan. Don’t make a big deal out of this. Maybe she was waiting for the right opportunity to tell you.”
“She has been with me since Thanksgiving. We’ve been inseparable for days. She slept next to me every night. Cami had every opportunity to tell me, yet she chose not to,” I say through clenched teeth. My mind is a crazy mixture of hurt, deceit, and fear. I can’t believe she kept this from me. How could she not tell me this little—hell, this big—tidbit of information?
Christian places his hand on my shoulder. “Calm down, man. I’m sure there’s an explanation. Don’t go all apeshit crazy and get pissed off. Give her the benefit of the doubt.”
Taking a deep breath, I try and calm myself down. Talk myself off the ledge before I go balls to the wall on Camryn when I see her. “You’re right. I’ll wait it out. I’m sure she’ll tell me.”
It’s eleven o’clock and Aces is packed. Isaac announces five minutes to show time. We’ve gone over the playlist for tonight. The guys weren’t happy that I’ve switched out a few songs, but they know the music, they can play the songs without any flaws. I look around the place—trying to see if Morgan and Camryn are here—when I spot them at the bar with Lincoln. I am proud my girl took a big step and came tonight. She’s come a long way, and I love her more for fighting her fears.
For some reason tonight I am on edge. I’m not sure if my nerves are all over the place because of the bomb Linc dropped on me about Camryn’s promotion or that this is the first time she has been out since the attack. Once Christian notices Camryn, he immediately heads in her direction. He throws his arm around her shoulder, pulling her body close against his side. Christian and I talked earlier today. He plans on staying close to her tonight to make sure she feels comfortable. It will definitely make me feel better, knowing she is with her brother.
Camryn spots me from across the bar. She grabs Morgan’s hand pulling her with her through the crowd. When she reaches me, she stands on her tiptoes, touching my lips with hers. Her lips brush against mine gently. Raising her lips to mine again, she gazes into my eyes. My lips burn with fire from the contact. I want more. I need more.
“Hey, gorgeous. I missed you,” she says in a silky voice. Damn, I want to take her right here and now.
Pulling her into my arms, I whisper, “I’ve missed you, too, babe. Are you staying for the whole set?” Biting her earlobe before pulling back to look at her face. She notices me watching her intently.
“Of course, I’m staying for the whole set.” I want to ask her about this promotion, but now is not the time, so I push that thought out of my head for now
She leans in, kissing me again. Between each word, she plants a kiss on my neck, nibbles my ear, then my neck, and face before saying, “I don’t plan on going anywhere except home with you at the end of the night.”
When I hear those words pass her lips, “I wouldn’t have it any other way, Tink.”
Before she has a chance to respond, I hear my name being called, then Isaac is telling me to get my ass up on stage. Kissing Camryn lightly on her forehead, I help her get settled on the stool at the table near the stage. “Stay here, I’ll be right over there.” Pointing to the stage. “I’ll be the one singing.”
Camryn smacks my ass as I turn to head toward the stage. “I’ll be right here. Make sure you put on a good show. I need a little entertainment tonight,” she says jokingly.
I jump up on stage, grab my guitar from Parker, slinging it around my body. I have the jitters tonight knowing I am going to pour my heart out to Camryn through the words I wrote for her. I have always been good with words. These words came directly from my heart. Unspoken words that I have never said. I plan on telling Camryn I love her tonight. Not here in front of everyone at Aces, but definitely when we get home, when it’s just the two of us. I can’t contain the feelings I have for her. I don’t see the point in wasting anymore time.
We start the set off with a song that I know Camryn will know is directed at her. Isaac taps out the beats, then I start to sing the words to It Was Always You by Maroon 5. My eyes lock with Camryn while I sing the lyrics. Every word that passes my lips meant for her. This song speaks volumes about how I feel for Cami. It’s as if this song was written detailing our relationship. It’s always been Camryn for me. It may have taken me some time to realize it, but I did. My entire life, the love of my life has been by my side. As the song says, we never crossed the line, but it’s always been her. She has my heart, and it’s about time I told her it’s hers if she is willing to keep it.
Camryn doesn’t look away from me the entire song. Her eyes tell me everything she is feeling. She discreetly wipes a tear from her face, not wanting Morgan and Christian to see her crying. She blinks several times, then focuses her gaze on me.
With each line I sing my heart out. Each word is filled with so much emotion. Emotions and feelings that I have been harboring for years.
Afterwards, we sing a few fan favorites to get the crowd into the music. The dance floor is packed with girls dancing and singing along with the lyrics. After a few songs, I slow things down with the song I wrote for Camryn called, By Your Side. With my guitar around my body, I feel my heart start to race. Isaac and Alex walk off the stage to grab a beer, while Parker stays with me. Only our guitars are needed for this song.
As my fingertips pluck the strings on my guitar, I can feel the music throughout my entire body. The rhythm of this song is steady, with a few smooth transitions to the chorus. The melody is soft. I grab the mic walking over to the corner of the stage close to where Camryn is sitting. I wink when our eyes lock and I blow her a kiss.
I’m nervous as shit tonight. I’ve put myself out there every time I perform. Nothing compares to the fear I have tonight. The words from this song come from my heart. I’m opening myself up for Camryn, for her to choose me, to love me.
The way we push, the way we pull.
I wouldn't change a thing
Through the years I've been fighting
Feelings I've been trying to hide
I capture Camryn’s gaze with mine, analyzing her reaction to the unexpressed words that have been living inside my heart for years. Her caramel colored eyes dart nervously back and forth. I search her face, trying to get a read on what she is thinking. I continue with the lyrics that I know will capture her attention.
You're the one who's got a hold on me
It's been you who has always had my heart.
You've held it in the palm of your hand,
Cradling it ever so gently.
I wonder what you dream about at night
It's only you I see when I close my eyes
Your smile that blinds me
Or your laugh that warms me
The entire song, I haven’t taken my eyes off of her. Her eyes grow large and fill with tears. I can see there are so many thoughts running through her head. She has never been one who could hide her emotions from me. I watch the play of emotion on her face. Her lids slip down over her eyes as I sing to her. My eyes never leave her for an instant. This moment is about Camryn and me. I focus all my attention on her, as if it is just the two of us in this room. The sound of each pluck of the str
ings from Parker’s guitar melt into the next as my vocals fill the room.
It took me some time to realize it,
But once I did, my heart only beats for you
For years I’ve watched us grow
Grow from friends to more
You know it in your heart
Even the times we’ve spent apart
You feel it too, I know you do
The huskiness lingers in my tone as I sing the last line.
Can we continue on this path from friends to lovers?
When the song ends, the entire room is silent. A few girls in the front of the stage wipe their eyes. I see Cami dab her face, then Morgan pulls her in for a hug. Morgan runs her hand up and down her back, then lifts her gleaming eyes to me. She gives me a thumbs up.
CAMRYN
JAMIE’S HAND IS clasped with mine as he pulls me into his apartment. Tonight was amazing. I was taken back a little by his performance tonight, but after seeing him on stage telling me how he feels, I realize my heart belongs to Jamie. It always has. As he stood on stage and performed those songs, it made it clear as day. I fall more in love with Jamieson Banks . . . my Jamie.
We’ve touched, we’ve kissed, but we have never actually made love yet. My body aches to be cherished by him . . . to have him inside of me. He never pushes me. Actually, I seem to be the only one pushing. He continues to put the brakes on our foreplay. I’m ready to take the next step. The thought of Jamie’s hands on me doesn’t terrify me, the way it would have weeks ago. My body craves his touch now, I need to rid myself of the visions and feelings that torment me and replace them with more pleasurable ones.
The poor man must have a severe case of blue balls my now. But at the end of the day, he has never once complained. I’m not sure if he stops because he thinks I need him to, or whether he stops for an entirely different reason. If I were to guess, I know it’s because he wants our first time together to be special and doesn’t want to feel like he is pushing me to do something I’m not ready for.
So tonight, I am taking control. Once the apartment door is shut, I free my hand from his then push his body against the door. His head draws back, his eyes are wide. I know I startled him with my movement. I have to say, I surprised myself. I have never been the aggressor in the relationship. The way Jamie focused his attention on me while performing sparked a raging inferno inside of me. One that only Jamie can put out.
His eyes move up and down my body, then lock on mine. He doesn’t say a word while I slowly place my hands under his shirt caressing his ab muscles lightly with my fingertips. Jamie sucks in a breath, his muscles tighten under my touch. I trace the outline of his muscles, then gradually work my way over his chest. I focus my attention on his face trying to get a read on what is going through his mind as he continues to stare at me.
His jaw clenches, his eyes slightly narrow. Jamie is trying to control himself, fighting with the idea that I’m the one initiating this. He is the one who has always been in control of our make out sessions. Well, I have news for him, I plan on torturing him until the words “we need to stop” are no longer in his vocabulary.
My fingertips gently outline his nipples, causing him to suck in a quick breath. His nipples harden immediately from being teased. I gradually work my way back down his torso causing goosebumps to blanket his chest. I reach for the bottom of his shirt, pulling it up to reveal his beautiful body. His chest displays vibrant colorful designs inked on his skin. Jamie reaches behind the back of his neck, pulling the shirt quickly over his head, then tosses it on the floor.
Jamie’s chest rises and falls fast and I can see that I’m having an effect on him. The fact he hasn’t spoken a word since we entered the apartment says more than any verbal queues could tell me. The bulge that is straining against his jeans confirms it. I try to hide my smile knowing that I am capable of doing this to him.
My hand deliberately moves to cup his growing erection. Jamie leans his head back against the door, closing his eyes. Slowly, I massage him with my hand. My pulse quickens as his erection becomes harder from my touch. He is big . . . bigger than I remember.
A low growl escapes Jamie’s throat. He lifts his head focusing his hazel eyes on me. His eyes shift from my eyes to my mouth, then to my chest, then back to my mouth. His tongue gently moistens his lips. His entire body tenses as I continue to massage his hardened erection. He wraps his arms around my waist pulling me flush against him, trapping my hand from moving.
With his one arm still wrapped around me, he takes his other hand placing a finger under my chin making me look at him. “Are you sure about this, Tink?” he asks with concern laced in his voice.
I nod.
“I need to hear you say it. I need you to tell me what you want.”
Swallowing deeply, I tell him what he wants to hear. I tell him what I want him to do. What I need him to do. “I’m sure, Jamie.” My voice shakes.
I stand on my tiptoes trying to get closer to his lips and whisper, “I want you to make love to me. I know you’ve been holding back, but I’m ready to take this next step.” A little nervousness creeps up, but it’s not because of what happened, it’s because this moment is with Jamie. All about me and Jamie.
My lips brush against his, making my entire body tingle.
Jamie captures my lips with his. His tongue slides along to part them, causing me to open my mouth. Our tongues move slow at first, then our kiss grows heated. Jamie breaks the kiss, pulling away from me to cup my face with his hands. Immediately, I miss his lips on mine.
“I know you said you want this, baby, but if you change your mind at any time, we don’t have to. I would never push you to do something you don’t want to do,” he says with trepidation in his voice.
I step back from him, and reach for his hand. I continue taking steps backwards toward his bedroom. “I’ve never been more sure of anything than I am of this right now. I know I’m safe with you. This is me telling you that I want you to make love to me, Jamie.”
Unspoken words transpire between us as he watches me knowing I am giving him the silent okay that I am fine. My hands move toward my belt and Jamie stops me. “You are not going to undress yourself. That’s my job.”
He unfastens my belt, tossing it to the floor. Then his fingers unbutton my jeans. His hands touch my waistline causing goosebumps to cover my body now. The prolonged anticipation is almost unbearable.
He grips the hem of my shirt, slowly bringing it up my body and over my head revealing my black lace bra.
He scans my body slowly and seductively. His gaze slides downward taking in my body. My heart jolts and my pulse pounds. A look comes into his eyes, one that says he’s so ready for this moment.
Taking a deep, unsteady breath, I step backward. An electrifying shudder reverberates through my body. Jamie reaches out, his strong hands grasp my hips, pulling my body flush against his chest.
Jamie places kisses on my chest, on the swells of my breasts and lightly bites my nipple over my bra. “No part is going to be untouched by me, baby.”
My hands find the top of his jeans. I fumble with the button, then slide his zipper down.
“Let me help you out.” His voice, deep and sensual, sending a ripple of awareness through me. Jamie quickly removes his pants and boxers, leaving him completely naked in front of me.
His tall figure moves closer toward me, leaving no space between us. He eases the lacy cup of my bra aside revealing my breast. He fondles one small globe, my rosy nipple is marble hard. His tongue caresses my swollen nipple as he continues his torturous attack on my breasts. My nipples are so sensitive, I could probably climax from just this.
Loving the reaction he is getting from me, he shows my other nipple the same attention, taking it into his mouth, sucking on my breast. A moan escapes me as his teeth bite down gently on my nipple. I need more than this, I need him inside me now.
I have dreamed of this moment. The moment that he would make me his. Mark me, claim me as his.
He unclasps my bra, and it falls to the ground, leaving my sensitive breasts exposed. He walks me backwards and the back of my thighs hit the mattress. Gently, he eases me down onto it. I scoot up the bed on my elbows, positioning myself against his pillows. He crawls up the bed, like a lion stalking its prey. Every hard inch of him presses against me as he leans down to kiss me. His tongue sends new spirals of ecstasy through my body. His lips are hard and searching.
He closes his lips against mine, “Are you sure about this, baby?” Jamie hesitates, measuring me for a moment.
Cupping his face in my hands, I speak with quiet, but desperate, firmness, “I need this, Jamie. Please . . . Don’t make me beg you.”
With a simple nod, he understands what I want, and most of all, what I need.
Jamie’s lips hover before they claim mine. His kiss sends the pit of my stomach into a wild swirl. His tongue explores the recesses of my mouth. The kiss starts off gentle, then becomes demanding. He isn’t just kissing me, he is claiming me.
His mouth works its way to my neck, nipping, sucking and biting with every kiss.
His hands move gently down the length of my body. He reaches my jeans and gradually lowers them down over my hips. I lift my butt off the bed, giving him the help he needs to move this along. Slowly, he glides down the bed, removing my jeans and panties at the same time.
His talented tongue makes a path down my ribs to my stomach. His teeth scraping as he goes. He murmurs his love for each part of my body. His movements are slow, gentle, and smooth. Every kiss, lick, or bite has a purpose and it is driving me crazy. I ache for him to be inside of me. Everywhere he kisses, my body ignites. My insides are melting from the pleasure of his touch. My hands rub the bare skin of his back and shoulders, digging my fingernails into his skin.
A delightful shiver of want runs through my body. My body trembles from his warmth. “Relax, baby. This is all about you tonight.”